1) Is this letter going to be just one big apology, professing your great love for him and how you see your future together?
2) Is this letter a way for you to ‘explain’ yourself better over something you did wrong?
3) What do you hope to complish with your letter?

The first option won’t get you anywhere because chances are he already knows this.

The second option might very well explain your side of the story but I have a feeling it will only provoke him to debate with you some more about HIS side of the story. In other words - bad idea.

The third one, you need to think about because if the aim of the letter is to get him back… try a different approach. If it’s just to get things off your chest before you say your goodbyes… is it REALLY that important? What if you DON’T get closure from this letter?

It’s important to think about the purpose of the letter and when you send it. Personally I would not send a letter of any kind. It’s best to speak with your ex in person or on the phone so they have no way of getting out of talking with you. By sending a letter, you’ll just be thinking about it and wondering whether they received it or not.

In other ways… write a letter… just don’t send it. This will get your feelings out, give you some type of closure without stressing you out to the max.

The above case doesn’t always apply - the Magic of Making Up does suggest to send a letter to your ex, but this isn’t the kind of letter you think. Head here to find out more about Magic of Making Up.

When I was a teenager, I saw an elderly man and woman walking through the park together. The woman was able to move much more quickly than her husband, who was walking with a limp. They held hands and she patiently slowed down for him. At one point he pointed to her eyeglasses and the woman looked at her husband confused. He finally took off her glasses, removed a cloth from his pocket and wiped a smudge off of them before handing the glasses back to his wife. Watching the two of them together made me realize what true love is. I knew that I wanted to find my true love so that we could grow old together like that man and woman did.

How do you go about finding true love? The answer isn’t quite so simple. In fact, it seems that true love finds you; you do not find it. True love can happen in the most unlikely of situations too. Think about what it is that you want in a mate. Are you looking for sizzling romance or someone with a diversified stock portfolio? For me, when I was in my 20s, I was looking for sizzling romance, and I found it. Unfortunately, with time the romance fizzles out and then you realize that there wasn’t much substance behind the flames. I knew that wasn’t the way to find my true love after all.

I decided to look for someone whom I enjoyed spending time with. This person was nice, but I didn’t feel the passion. We always had a great time together and I always found myself laughing heartily. I looked forward to our dates, and we fell in love. The passion came later, which I never would have imagined. We were able to build a relationship on a sturdy foundation of friendship and from that grew the seeds of love.

If you are looking for true love, look beyond your current circle. You don’t usually find true love in a bar, but anything is possible. However, if you have been looking in bars, and have turned up empty, it is time to test out other places. Visit you local library. Take a cooking class or learn a foreign language in night school. Join a book club so that you can meet people with similar interests. Be open to new experiences because you never know when true love is around the corner waiting for you.

Well, there are so much to learn about our own relationships. I was browsing the forum earlier and spotted a topic of conversation that made me realize something… you can love someone, they can love you, everything might ‘appear’ well and good, but something can still be missing. Often you don’t even know what it may be. Something just feels different.

We’re quick to feel like we’ve failed if a loved one turns around and breaks our hearts. Even when we see it coming… it can be extremely hurtful and frustrating. The very act that your partner has stopped wanting to make it work anymore… that they’ll just be content to give up on you… is a painful realization to come to.

I wanted to address some of this and more about finding true love, you can download a complimentary copy of the e-book Love’s Break up - Explosive Tips to Getting Your Love Back which talks a great deal about the above and much more.

The secret of the universe? Not quite… you can look forward to discovering:

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• How you can get your love back… without mind games, manipulation or anything of the sort. Be fair and they will be fair with you.
• The secret to attracting anyone… old love or new love… the principles are the same.
• Many many more helpful resources for you to overcome your break up dilemmas.

If you’re depressed about the state of your relationship, this is the book to get… and best of all, it’s FREE! But of course, best things in life ARE free.

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• If I contact my ex too soon I might push them further away.
• If I don’t contact my ex at all they will think I don’t care and forget about me.
• If I show too much affection, they will get scared and run away.
• If I don’t show any affection, they might run into the arms of another lover.
• If I agree to be friends, they might be content to remain as friends.
• If I don’t agree to be friends they never contact me again.

This is the type of thing that makes people lose sleep day after day, worrying and stressing about the perfect thing to do that will win back the love of their ex. Would you like to know what your ex is thinking? Read their thoughts and cut through the maze of conflicting concerns?

Well I certainly wish I had a mindreading device, but short of one, there is one thing I’m fairly certain.

Being too afraid to take any action at all will cost you more than making all the mistakes in the world. Why? Because at least when you make mistakes you’ll know exactly what NOT to do in the future. Is there a limit to the number of mistakes you’re allowed before it’s Game Over?

Well like anything, educate yourself on the biggest common booboos people make, (here’s some great examples), but after that as long as you’re not acting crazy and completely irrational, you should be fine.

Here’s a tip: BE YOURSELF! Not yourself when you’re stressed, panicky and highly emotional. Envision you’re on holidays, relaxing at some exotic beach with beautiful women or men all around you, just act like your normal self when you’re happy/content/satisfied… even if you’re NOT right now. It helps trust me!

If you have a sense of humour make good use it now! (just don’t go overbroad and start telling jokes at a funeral)

If you act like it’s not the biggest tragedy in the world, then it won’t be, and you won’t worry about mistakes because there won’t BE any mistakes.

The only mistake is NOT taking action… but if you’re still not comfortable just taking it easy and hoping things will work out in the end, there actually IS a proven method that you can follow step-by-step that will bring you results!

This is possibly one of the best kept secrets around but I’m happy to share it with you… with this method you could get back the love of your life in as little as 21 days. If you feel you’re at the end of your ropes, this IS your answer.

Best Kept Secret to Winning Back Love

To fall out of love there must have been love to begin with. Isn’t love meant to be forever? Well here are some reasons why love might have diminished overtime:

When you first fell in love, everything was new and exciting and you would have been on a natural ‘love’ high. During this time its easy to have your needs and expectations met because you’ll want to accomodate and compromise a lot more. After a while when you start to become comfortable with one another, conflicts will arise in which you weren’t aware of before. This is often where couples might fall out of love when you both get ‘real’ with one another.

Did your ex really love you to begin with? Sometimes people think they’re in love when really they just needed to fullfill a certain avoid. Once that avoid is filled or problem is solved, they’ll likely want to move on. How do you know if your ex really loved you? Did your ex always look out for your needs ahead of their own? Did they happily do things for you without you asking? Did they act loving to you in a consistant manner? Just some things to think about.

Sometimes the relationship can break down not because of something you have done, but an insecurity or life-long problem your partner is struggling to deal with. If they have low self-esteem, have a history of unstable relationships or have issues in the past they are trying to suppress, it is likely the problem will resurface during your relationship.

In situations like these, understand it’s not your fault or something you could have prevented from happening. Your ex is the one who has to deal with issues such as these and on their own. You can only do what you can to ’support’ them inside.

Some people have little control over themselves and mistreatments do happen. If you fear you have mistreated your ex with mental or physical abuse, please get help for yourself immediately.

What is important is for you to have realistic expectations from your ex. Accept them for who they are and don’t try to change them to fit an ideal partner for you.

Getting through your break up will be a lot easier if you have a bunch of movies lined up to help you out when your friends are busy and you feel like you have no one to turn to.

On the other hand, it’s important not to get the wrong type of movies also. You’ll want to stay away from the heartwrenching romantics and the heartbreakingly sad dramas. Even if you’re tempted because you’ve heard great things about it or they might be your favourite movie in the world, stay away from them during your break up!

You don’t want the movie to depress you even more and make you think of your ex halfway through! The best type of break up movies are romantic comedies that lean more towards the comedy. A movie which contains an element of a character going through a break up or some sort of misfortune in their life is also great because they help you see you’re not alone and also show you another side to your situation.

If you can laugh about someone else going through something similar to you then that is sure to make you feel much better about your situation.

Some examples of great break up movies are:

1. Lars and The Real Girl (2007)
2. High Fidelity (2000)
3. Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
5. Closer (2004)
6. The Break-Up (2006)
7. Bridget Jones Diary
8. What Happens In Vegas
9. Groundhog Day
10. Kill Bill Volumes 1 and 2

I recommend all of these, check them out if you haven’t and if you have, keep in mind the requirements for a great break up movie and go searching in your local DVD store! Have fun watching!

That however, isn’t going to get your ex to come back to you. You should be careful to assume reuniting with your ex would mean resuming the relationship from where it left off. It doesn’t. Often it means a lot more work and possibly more fear of them leaving in the future.

Insecurities build and come back to haunt us and sometimes the relationship can get turned into something far worse and ugly for your soul.

As one of the most memorable lines from Stephen King’s classic Pet Sematary “sometimes, dead is better”. It could roughly apply here… sometimes things are far best left broken.

Now, that is not to say I’m trying to turn you away from wanting to reunite, and I think you would know your situation best. I just want you to take things slow at first and look at the possibility of reuniting as a new start for your relationship.

Having the right attitude is hugely important if you want to re-attract your ex back into your life. You want to show them through actions that you’re willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work and a little hiccup right now is not going to deter you.

Your ex should not have any doubts if he or she is considering coming back. Show them the choice is easy and not something they need to fear or second-guess themselves about. The way you do this is by allowing them to lower their defences and open up around you.

Sharing deep emotions and feelings is a good sign that they trust you and is willing to let you into their ‘inner circle’. This is important if you want your ex to come back with open arms and without a doubt that you could possibly hurt them again.

Rebuilding the trust and friendship should be a step in the reconciliation process and not a substitute for your current relationship. Always keep in mind your aim is to get back together as a couple and not as anything less.

For more, check out: Trusting Your Ex

Often people go into confusion and question everything about their ex. Why did she say she loved me one minute and wanted to leave the next? How could he change his mind so fast? Did my ex really love me in the first place?

So what exactly happened?

Well make no mistake about it, your ex had been preparing for the break up for quite some time (this could range from weeks to months even). They were just very good hiding it and often they might have even hid it from themself.

Of course to you this is not going to make any sense. Especially when you look back at only a few days or weeks ago and they were planning your engagement, wedding, end-of-year holiday or something else of that nature.

Was your ex lying to you? Well perhaps lying is not the right word for it. When someone decides to do anything that constitutes a rejection, for example fire someone, turn down a date etc, first they will need to rationalize their decision. Everyone knows it hurts to be rejected, hence why the job of firing people is not too plesant. So in order for your ex to go through with this (and for anyone going through with this) they need to come up with ‘good’ reasons.

These reasons must inherently make them feel good about themselves and their decision. Whether they are the ‘real’ reasons or not doesn’t matter. As long as it’s good enough and it doesn’t make them look like a bad person, that’s the reason they’ll go with.

This is why you have to take their reason to leave with a grain of salt. Sometimes your ex will even lie to themself simply to justify the decision and not ‘appear’ like a bad person.

Remember a break up is never truly ‘out of the blue’, if your ex  has left you, it’s best to NOT question the situation to death because truth be told, they might not even be able to say exactly why they left in the first place. What IS clear however is that they weren’t happy with some aspect of the relationship.

What must you do now? How to Make Your Ex Want You Back.

Basically it seems when people don’t see results straight away they freak out and assume you’re withholding knowledge from them in some way. I’m definitely not!

So one of the scenarios that seem to pop up fairly often is when I recognize someone referring to an Immature Ex. What defines an immature ex?

In my opinion, someone who:

• Deliberately tries to hurt you or make you jealous.
• Display no signs of remorse or care for the loss of the relationship.
• Jumps on the next person that comes along but still INSISTS on you acting Like nothing has changed.
• Goes out of their way to avoid you or make you feel bad about something very innocent.

If you’re trying to get an Immature Ex back into your life I think you need to really consider why you want them back in the first place. Generally someone who is incapable of showing any respect for you after a break up says a lot about them as a person.

And it’s not anything nice either. At the same time, you still wanting to be with that person tells me you may have some issues to work through yourself.

There is absolutely no good reason at all for them to act like this around you, unless they’re not nice people to begin with.

Another reason could be they still have feelings for you and want to get back at you. Once again although it might ‘seem’ innocent enough, their immaturity is really what bothers me about the whole thing.

Either way, the best thing to do is simply ignore them and carry on like it doesn’t affect you at all.

And really, I know No Contact is hard but sometimes remaining in contact is even harder, it just takes a little longer for the pain to hit you but when it hits, it hits hard!

Personally this kind of action screams the need to pull back and implement “No Contact” straight away!

The reasons for No Contact are:

1). To give your ex the space they need to make up their mind whether they want to be with you or not, and no you can’t influence them by calling and begging them back.

2). Give yourself the time to figure out what you also want from the relationship.

3). Give you both the opportunity for a new beginning when you DO come into contact again.

It is much advised NOT to remain friends with an ex that exhibits this kind of yo-yo like behaviours. It is too confusing and will mess up your feelings even more. You don’t want to be dragged around by your ex for months or even years because they couldn’t make up their mind.

There are other better ways to get them back and remaining friends straight from the get-go usually gives unpredictable results. You’ll also have to deal with the pain of being with them but ‘not’ being with them, if you know what I mean.

Also check out: Is Your Ex Leading You On?