So I wanted to write a bit about what to do if this is in fact your situation.

First of all keep in mind that No Contact doesn’t mean ‘completely ignore and snub your ex’. This will only piss them off and they will think you’re doing it just to spite them.

Second, the whole purpose of no contact is to put distance between you and your ex EMOTIONALLY. Putting distance physically helps distancing emotionally that’s why I always recommend to avoid seeing or talking to your ex. If you can manage keeping an emotional distance while still seeing and talking to your ex everyday than that’s great, you don’t need to worry about it.

But if you’re like 99% of the population that still HURT and are very emotionally tied to their ex even if they are NOT around, then you have to deal with it the best way you can and that is to put physical distance between the two of you.

So problem arises when you’re in a situation where you are forced to see them everyday and even talk to them on a regular basis. What do you do?

Ok so what are the chances of transferring to a different department or even getting another job? If you say there’s no chance, then I want you to at least try to think of ONE way of distancing yourself from your ex. Even if it’s something small, if you’re assigned to work with your ex, can you get someone else to do it instead? Can you even talk to your boss about your situation?

Don’t simply rule out everything because you’re too lazy to think of a solution. Think about it a bit and come up with at least one small thing you can do.

So next what if your ex keeps coming up to talk to you?

Simple, just answer them, be friendly then make an excuse like you’re busy and get out of the conversation. Treat them like any other co-worker then hightail out. They might suspect you are ignoring them and if they ask just flat out tell them the truth, there’s no point lying about it they will see through it anyway.

How do you keep your sanity?

Well it’s going to be difficult in the beginning but eventually the hurt will subside. The best thing to do is to keep yourself busy and try to plan activities outside work so you have something else to look forward to throughout the day. Go out with friends, see a movie, catch up with relatives etc. Avoid going back home where you’re alone with nothing to do except cry and get depressed about your ex.

First of all, you want to stir up a curiosity within them if you want to get their attention. There is no need for them to call if you keep calling them and don’t give them enough time to ‘miss you’. Back up for a few days and wait for them to slowly realize they haven’t heard from you in a while. Once their curiosity is peeked, you are much more likely to get a response out of them.

To start, send them a polite and courteous note letting them know you are sorry for any hurt you’ve caused and that you appreciate everything they’ve done for you. At the end mention how you’d love to thank them in person one last time. Once they hear this, not only will they be wondering what they’ve done but they will also want to hear what you’ve been doing. Especially if you give off the impression that you’re somehow different through your message.

ONE WARNING THOUGH: you will need a strategy after they DO call you back, it will be useless not to have one prepared or it will probably do more harm than good.
Now get your plan together to getting your ex back.