Get Your Ex Back After Break Up Luv-Heart.Com: Love, Relationships and Everything in between

Movies are a great way of escaping the real world and diving into another space and time and getting lost in someone else’s problem. The right kind of movie can really lift your spirits and make you laugh and smile even during the worst of times.

Getting through your break up will be a lot easier if you have a bunch of movies lined up to help you out when your friends are busy and you feel like you have no one to turn to.

On the other hand, it’s important not to get the wrong type of movies also. You’ll want to stay away from the heartwrenching romantics and the heartbreakingly sad dramas. Even if you’re tempted because you’ve heard great things about it or they might be your favourite movie in the world, stay away from them during your break up!

You don’t want the movie to depress you even more and make you think of your ex halfway through! The best type of break up movies are romantic comedies that lean more towards the comedy. A movie which contains an element of a character going through a break up or some sort of misfortune in their life is also great because they help you see you’re not alone and also show you another side to your situation.

If you can laugh about someone else going through something similar to you then that is sure to make you feel much better about your situation.

Some examples of great break up movies are:

1. Lars and The Real Girl (2007)
2. High Fidelity (2000)
3. Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
5. Closer (2004)
6. The Break-Up (2006)
7. Bridget Jones Diary
8. What Happens In Vegas
9. Groundhog Day
10. Kill Bill Volumes 1 and 2

I recommend all of these, check them out if you haven’t and if you have, keep in mind the requirements for a great break up movie and go searching in your local DVD store! Have fun watching!

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Sometimes we screw up badly and we don’t even blame our partners for wanting to leave. It’s true that we don’t often know what we have until it’s gone and breaking up can be one of those eye-opening moments. The most important thing however is that you learn from this experience and walk away understanding where it went wrong and how it could be prevented in the future.

That however, isn’t going to get your ex to come back to you. You should be careful to assume reuniting with your ex would mean resuming the relationship from where it left off. It doesn’t. Often it means a lot more work and possibly more fear of them leaving in the future.

Insecurities build and come back to haunt us and sometimes the relationship can get turned into something far worse and ugly for your soul.

As one of the most memorable lines from Stephen King’s classic Pet Sematary “sometimes, dead is better”. It could roughly apply here… sometimes things are far best left broken.

Now, that is not to say I’m trying to turn you away from wanting to reunite, and I think you would know your situation best. I just want you to take things slow at first and look at the possibility of reuniting as a new start for your relationship.

Having the right attitude is hugely important if you want to re-attract your ex back into your life. You want to show them through actions that you’re willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work and a little hiccup right now is not going to deter you.

Your ex should not have any doubts if he or she is considering coming back. Show them the choice is easy and not something they need to fear or second-guess themselves about. The way you do this is by allowing them to lower their defences and open up around you.

Sharing deep emotions and feelings is a good sign that they trust you and is willing to let you into their ‘inner circle’. This is important if you want your ex to come back with open arms and without a doubt that you could possibly hurt them again.

Rebuilding the trust and friendship should be a step in the reconciliation process and not a substitute for your current relationship. Always keep in mind your aim is to get back together as a couple and not as anything less.

For more, check out: Trusting Your Ex

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Getting dumped out of the blue is just about the worst way to get rejected by your loved one. Not only do you have to deal with the shock of getting dumped but it usually takes the dumpee much longer to get over the break up.

Often people go into confusion and question everything about their ex. Why did she say she loved me one minute and wanted to leave the next? How could he change his mind so fast? Did my ex really love me in the first place?

So what exactly happened?

Well make no mistake about it, your ex had been preparing for the break up for quite some time (this could range from weeks to months even). They were just very good hiding it and often they might have even hid it from themself.

Of course to you this is not going to make any sense. Especially when you look back at only a few days or weeks ago and they were planning your engagement, wedding, end-of-year holiday or something else of that nature.

Was your ex lying to you? Well perhaps lying is not the right word for it. When someone decides to do anything that constitutes a rejection, for example fire someone, turn down a date etc, first they will need to rationalize their decision. Everyone knows it hurts to be rejected, hence why the job of firing people is not too plesant. So in order for your ex to go through with this (and for anyone going through with this) they need to come up with ‘good’ reasons.

These reasons must inherently make them feel good about themselves and their decision. Whether they are the ‘real’ reasons or not doesn’t matter. As long as it’s good enough and it doesn’t make them look like a bad person, that’s the reason they’ll go with.

This is why you have to take their reason to leave with a grain of salt. Sometimes your ex will even lie to themself simply to justify the decision and not ‘appear’ like a bad person.

Remember a break up is never truly ‘out of the blue’, if your ex  has left you, it’s best to NOT question the situation to death because truth be told, they might not even be able to say exactly why they left in the first place. What IS clear however is that they weren’t happy with some aspect of the relationship.

What must you do now? How to Make Your Ex Want You Back.

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I often get letters from my members at Second Love crying for help. I usually take a deep breath and really try to be helpful, but sometimes it gets a little tiring repeating the same advice over and over.

Basically it seems when people don’t see results straight away they freak out and assume you’re withholding knowledge from them in some way. I’m definitely not!

So one of the scenarios that seem to pop up fairly often is when I recognize someone referring to an Immature Ex. What defines an immature ex?

In my opinion, someone who:

• Deliberately tries to hurt you or make you jealous.
• Display no signs of remorse or care for the loss of the relationship.
• Jumps on the next person that comes along but still INSISTS on you acting Like nothing has changed.
• Goes out of their way to avoid you or make you feel bad about something very innocent.

If you’re trying to get an Immature Ex back into your life I think you need to really consider why you want them back in the first place. Generally someone who is incapable of showing any respect for you after a break up says a lot about them as a person.

And it’s not anything nice either. At the same time, you still wanting to be with that person tells me you may have some issues to work through yourself.

There is absolutely no good reason at all for them to act like this around you, unless they’re not nice people to begin with.

Another reason could be they still have feelings for you and want to get back at you. Once again although it might ‘seem’ innocent enough, their immaturity is really what bothers me about the whole thing.

Either way, the best thing to do is simply ignore them and carry on like it doesn’t affect you at all.

And really, I know No Contact is hard but sometimes remaining in contact is even harder, it just takes a little longer for the pain to hit you but when it hits, it hits hard!

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This surprisingly happens very often and it’s, in my opinion, kind of cruel. It usually happens when your ex is either confused about what they want or they want to string you along for their own benefits.

Personally this kind of action screams the need to pull back and implement “No Contact” straight away!

The reasons for No Contact are:

1). To give your ex the space they need to make up their mind whether they want to be with you or not, and no you can’t influence them by calling and begging them back.

2). Give yourself the time to figure out what you also want from the relationship.

3). Give you both the opportunity for a new beginning when you DO come into contact again.

It is much advised NOT to remain friends with an ex that exhibits this kind of yo-yo like behaviours. It is too confusing and will mess up your feelings even more. You don’t want to be dragged around by your ex for months or even years because they couldn’t make up their mind.

There are other better ways to get them back and remaining friends straight from the get-go usually gives unpredictable results. You’ll also have to deal with the pain of being with them but ‘not’ being with them, if you know what I mean.

Also check out: Is Your Ex Leading You On?

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I’ve been seeing this question a lot from my Second Love members and I can understand why people may be confused.

So I wanted to write a bit about what to do if this is in fact your situation.

First of all keep in mind that No Contact doesn’t mean ‘completely ignore and snub your ex’. This will only piss them off and they will think you’re doing it just to spite them.

Second, the whole purpose of no contact is to put distance between you and your ex EMOTIONALLY. Putting distance physically helps distancing emotionally that’s why I always recommend to avoid seeing or talking to your ex. If you can manage keeping an emotional distance while still seeing and talking to your ex everyday than that’s great, you don’t need to worry about it.

But if you’re like 99% of the population that still HURT and are very emotionally tied to their ex even if they are NOT around, then you have to deal with it the best way you can and that is to put physical distance between the two of you.

So problem arises when you’re in a situation where you are forced to see them everyday and even talk to them on a regular basis. What do you do?

Ok so what are the chances of transferring to a different department or even getting another job? If you say there’s no chance, then I want you to at least try to think of ONE way of distancing yourself from your ex. Even if it’s something small, if you’re assigned to work with your ex, can you get someone else to do it instead? Can you even talk to your boss about your situation?

Don’t simply rule out everything because you’re too lazy to think of a solution. Think about it a bit and come up with at least one small thing you can do.

So next what if your ex keeps coming up to talk to you?

Simple, just answer them, be friendly then make an excuse like you’re busy and get out of the conversation. Treat them like any other co-worker then hightail out. They might suspect you are ignoring them and if they ask just flat out tell them the truth, there’s no point lying about it they will see through it anyway.

How do you keep your sanity?

Well it’s going to be difficult in the beginning but eventually the hurt will subside. The best thing to do is to keep yourself busy and try to plan activities outside work so you have something else to look forward to throughout the day. Go out with friends, see a movie, catch up with relatives etc. Avoid going back home where you’re alone with nothing to do except cry and get depressed about your ex.

For more tips check out: How to Win Your Ex Back in 10 Steps

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Your ex has had enough and decided to pack up and leave you behind like yesterday’s news. What makes it worse is they’re giving you the silent treatment and won’t even answer your calls or give you a chance to explain yourself.

One of the things people find hard to cope with is the sudden realization that we no longer hold any control over the person we have become so comfortable with. Suddenly they’re the ones calling the shots and you’re the one trying to catch up like an idiot.

Truth is once you’re dumped… your ex has the power and if they so choose to ignore you and block your phone number, there isn’t a whole lot you can do about it… or is there?

The best way to handle this sort of situation is to fight fire with fire. You don’t deserve to be treated like someone’s day old rags. If they’re so keen on erasing you from their life, then that’s what you’ll do too.

Stop calling them, txting them, sending them 3am msn messages. Erase them from your life… but only for now.

Sooner or later, they will start to catch on to what you’re doing and then you’re the one in control.

Problem with this scenario is it doesn’t really get you any closer to winning them back. They will think you’ve joined in on the games and this game playing could go on for months. This isn’t what you want. The whole point of ignoring them for now is for them to soften up and approach you again.

Once they reach out to you even in the slightest, it’s time to quit the games. It’s time to get your act together and do what it takes to get their attention again. Apologize, explain yourself, tell them you’re happy if they’re happy… in essence let them know you’re on their side and you don’t want to continue with the conflicts and drama.

Want the fast track to getting your love back? Get that plan together and go get em!

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I have just launched my new website Get Your Ex Back - Breakup Tips and Advice, it contains a collection of articles on how to get your ex back. I have some nice plans for this website, so if you like what you see please bookmark it.

There’s a bunch of new articles on there that’s very useful. Check it out: Get Your Ex Back

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One of the common issues that couples deal with is the loss of passion and spark. It’s easy to fall into a routine and become comfortable. Some people get so comfortable they are blinded by how emotionally unhealthy a relationship may be. If your ex has backed out of this relationship and you are certain there is no one in the waiting. This is a massive sign that they have been emotionally unhappy for a very long time.

It is not easy to admit sometimes love isn’t always enough. We can all fall in love with someone, but whether they are right for us is another matter all together. If your ex has emotionally checked out then it may be hard to bring them back. Not unless you change dramatically.

The trick however is that you must not change for someone else. You need to do it for yourself. The sad part is change isn’t instantaneous and often it can take years to really change. Some people never do because they are so stuck in a rut.

You need to address whether your partner still feels for you anymore. If they have completely moved on emotionally, you may need to consider moving on as well. However if they still hold some feelings towards you, you may still have a chance.

Communicate with them if you can to discover what is really missing for them. You need to be committed in helping the relationship grow and change. Just think of a relationship like a child; when it is young they grow a lot and very quickly but once they get older, their growth slows down a lot. This is not what you want. You need to grow together, encourage each other and share your journey together.

How often do you do activities you both enjoy together? Do you invite them into doing things that you enjoy? For example if you’re passionate about biking, do you ask your partner to bike with you? Sometimes it’s good to get them involved no matter if you think it might bore them. They may simply appreciate the offer.

Add a dash of spontaneity into your life and try to mix up your weekly activities. Try something new every week if you can. Not only does it get you out of the house, it will distract your mind and you get to meet new people as well. Learn and discover a whole lot during this period. Even if your ex is not around, you will feel a whole lot better about yourself.

Remember little bits of sweet gestures throughout the day are much better than one major one every now and then. The way to keep the passion going is to never stop wooing your partner. Try to be flirty and playful and do things without them expecting.

The secret to keeping the passion going is to consider each day with your partner as if it’s your last.

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What do you do when your ex just dumped you out of nowhere and said they didn’t love you anymore? The unfortunate among us will have experienced such heartbreaking news and it is perhaps one of the most painful experiences you will ever have to go through.

At this point your whole world feels like it has crashed on you. You have no appetite for anything and even the things you loved to do feel so meaningless and stupid now. How could your ex abandon you like this? When you have given so much of yourself?

First you need to stop putting any blame on anyone, especially yourself. You feel rejected as it is, there is no need to beat yourself up even more. It is also very likely that the break up had absolutely nothing to do with you. Sometimes the person breaking up is the one with the main issues. In this case if they say it isn’t you, then believe that it really ISN’T. They are probably just as confused as you are.

The absolute worse thing you can do is beg for forgiveness and ask them to take you back. This is not the time to be acting desperate. Whatever their reason for breaking up, it is likely they did it to relief the pain they were going through themselves. It is best to agree with the break up and try to heal yourself in your own space.

How do you move on? You need to occupy yourself with different activities. Go out with some old friends you haven’t seen in a while. Indulge yourself in a certain hobby or activity that you missed while you were in the relationship. Spend time listening to other people’s problems and try to help them out instead of always talking about your own.

It will hurt a lot for the first week or even the first month. But the pain will eventually get better. As much as it is far from the truth right now. Have faith you WILL recover from it.

At this time, it is recommended that you cut all contact from your ex. This means even if they want to remain friends and call you everyday. You need to put your foot down and let them know firmly you need to be alone right now. As hard as it will be, staying in contact with your ex right now will only prolong the healing process and perhaps even stop you from moving on altogether. Let your ex know as nicely as possible why you shouldn’t speak for a while. At least until you feel you are ready to face them without breaking down again.

Take this opportunity to rearrange the furniture in your house, or do some housecleaning. Take the dog out for a long walk or take them to the beach. Get a new haircut, go shopping, listen to your favourite music and watch some funny movies. Get out and enjoy life. Try to keep in mind that although this relationship is over, you are at least one step closer to finding the true love of your life.

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